There’s no such thing as ‘Chicago pizza.’ It’s an oxymoron. We’re serious —would your favorite AZ pizza restaurant lie to you?
The dry, slow-to-cook monstrosities that pass for pizzas in the Windy City are really more like casseroles. Super lame casseroles. Here, let us prove it to you. We can easily list three reasons New York pizza is a heckuva lot better than the swill they serve in Chicago.
1. Deep-dish pizzas are deeply depressing
The first disappointment you’ll face at any pizza joint in Chicago comes right after the waiter takes your order. He’ll linger for a moment, like he’s not sure how to break the bad news. Then, he’ll inform you that your pizza will take around 45 minutes to an hour to cook—is that all right? No, you lousy Chi-town charlatan, that is not all right! Stop cooking your pizzas in loaf pans, so we can eat them before we croak!
2. Chi-town? More like ‘dry-town’
The second disappointment will be the pizza itself. Because deep-dish Chicago-style pizzas are cooked for so long, their crusts tend to be crunchy and dry. Um, excuse us, Chicago? We didn’t come here for a giant tortilla chip.
3. Eating pizza with a fork is doing it wrong
The whole pizza scene in Chicago is a world of sit-down dining, of cloth napkins, of knives and forks. It’s weird. Real pizza (i.e., New York pizza) is foldable, able to be eaten on-the-go. At the very least, you can pick it up with your hands.
No doubt, this head-to-head comparison has got you slavering for some genuine New York pizza. Hey, us too! Why not head down to NYPD Pizza for dinner tonight? We’re the only AZ pizza restaurant that imports New York tap water to make our pizza dough—the truth is, only New York water makes New York pizza. Come get yours today!